Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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