My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
