The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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