who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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