Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize