I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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