please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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