Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
