It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
