Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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