The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
