Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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