i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
