Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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