i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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