the new term for farting is butt boxing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to calm my uterus...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
