ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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