she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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