Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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