Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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