is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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