My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
