thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Randomize
