I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
