you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
