Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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