If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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