I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
