I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
