White coat. Heels.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
