I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
