I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
