so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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