Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
