If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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