i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Mom said you looked used
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
