I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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