i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize