Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
