GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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