She said her name was "party"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
