Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
