Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize