its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
