Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
