Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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