All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize