What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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