I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize