its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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