they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
