I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
