I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
