Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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