Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize